If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
