it was like having sex with a tree stump
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
