VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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