If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
