i think i have two assholes
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
