My nipple is on Facebook.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
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