Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
