I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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