I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
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