Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
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