Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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