Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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