I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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