I bet he comes in French.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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