Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
