omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
