you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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