drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
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we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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