Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
ugly people sure do ruin things
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I need a beard to bite.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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