So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
