Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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