Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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