Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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