Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
It's just like the Real World with babies
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
it's like heaven, but drunker
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I think your dad took our porno
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
