I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
zippers are such a cool invention
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
