No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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