The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
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