you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize