Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize