He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
