did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
