My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
