Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
