We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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