We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
