Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
