my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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