She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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