it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
