In the future we'll all be gay
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Randomize
