go do what you do best...puke behind churches
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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