you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
