He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Randomize
