I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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