don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
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