He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
