Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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