I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
