It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
