So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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