hotel room ftw
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
