he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
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