I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
