nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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