So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
