i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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