Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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