dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
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