I'll bet she douches with gravy.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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