I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
