I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
