Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
