Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
