When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I would ride that face into the sunset
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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